Jots and Tittles

Ever since the retreat, I've had a lot on my mind, and it's been kind of wearing on me.  I guess for some people the retreat cleared up a lot--and for me, too, in some respects--but it really gave me more questions than answers. 

And one of the biggest questions I was asking was "how do you receive love?"  Jeff talked a lot about how you need to receive God's love before you can give it to anyone, and I really wasn't sure at all what that looked like.  So I've spent the last several weeks trying to figure that out, and (more accurately, I suppose) begging God to give me a clue of how to do that.

Well, ask and ye shall receive, though the answer to this particular puzzle seems so freaking obvious that it's a wonder I didn't figure it out before.  So, for anyone else out there who's still wondering how to receive love, here you go: RETURN IT. 

Zounds!  You mean that's it?  All I have to do is love him back?  Who'da thunk?

But really, it seems so obvious.  I mean, what's the proper response when someone says "I love you?"  Well, unless you're Han Solo, it's "I love you, too."  And really, Leia already knew that Han loved her; what she needed was to know that he knew that she loved him.  (Wait... yeah, that's what I meant to say.)  So that doesn't count.  Anyway, what I'm trying to say, is that it's pretty obvious.  In fact, it's so obvious that I totally missed it.  Actually, I think I knew it all along, I just had to be able to articulate it finally. 

And there's one thing more, because you have to pass it on.  God is giving you way too much love to hoard up in one person, and the only way you can really receive it is to spread it around.  Yes, as Jeff said, the only way to spread God's love is if you receive it.  But that's misleading, because that implies that you have to receive it first, which isn't quite the case.  You can only receive it by giving it away. 

Hmm.  Maybe this isn't as clear-cut as it seemed when I was thinking about it last night.  Well.

Of course, this isn't to say that I've figured it all out, either.  I'm still fighting with a lot, and God and I have a lot of work to do together, but this is way cool.  And the weird thing is, it happened in Brighton, down in my little bedroom.  That place has never been the site of clarity for me; usually if I want that I have to go back up to Fort Collins because this place is just confusing.  Too much time spent in Sophia-land for that to be feasible.  But God is bigger than that (oh, man, again with the blatantly obvious stuff that I didn't know I knew) so it works.

Hmm... what else is new... well Josh has yet to email me back so there goes that.  Stupid me.  God says "you're not ready for a boyfriend yet" and I say "okay" until someone new comes along and sparks my interest again.  Time for a holy two-by-four!  *WHAP* Hey, Jaina, guess what? YOU STILL AREN'T READY!  I'll tell you when you're ready, and this isn't it.  Savvy? (And no, I'm not sure when God turned into Cap'n Jack... that's borderline blasphemous, right there...)

Hmm, well as I seem to have been distracted by the promise of food, I'm going to sign off and talk to y'alls later!  ^_^ mmmm... food...

-Jaya-